When Pitbull someday releases a career-spanning greatest hits album, it’ll be a monster. He’s got one hits album already: 2012’s Original Hits compiled his early stuff from TVT records and it looks good (I confess I haven’t heard all the songs), but since he released it in the midst of the Planet Pit/Voli Vodka world takeover, most of the world outside the 305 area code overlooked it. NorteñoBlog doesn’t often cover Pitbull because he has about as much to do with regional Mexican music as Rita Moreno does. (I confess I have even LESS of a connection to the format, but here we are.) But since he is possibly the most charming man on the planet — he needs to be loved slightly more than everybody else does — I will share my theory of Pitbull hits:

There are two tiers of Pitbull hits. The top tier includes such monster EDM smashes as “Timber,” “Give Me Everything,” and “Time of Our Lives,” and these songs are pretty good, just as the Planet Pit album was pretty good. That’s disc one of our hypothetical career spanning compilation. But the second tier, our hypothetical disc two of smaller hits… THAT’S where Pitbull hides his gold. I’m talking stuff like last year’s #23 hit “Fireball,” his astounding Ying Yang Twins feature “Shake” (included on Original Hits), 2010’s phenomenal, bilingual, featuring-Lil-Jon-and-everybody “Watagatapitusberry,” and the Pick to Click that climbs this week to #25 on Hot Latin, “El Taxi” featuring Sensato & Cuban oral sex freedom fighter Osmani Garcia. (“Chupi Chupi” was the too sexy song in question.) It’s really Garcia’s song — he originally received top billing and it’s more than a year old at this point, with 111 million Youtube views, but I assume it’ll appear on Pit’s forthcoming Spanish album Dale. “El Taxi” is lowdown and slinky. It features car horns beeping. I mean, come on.

Still we must ask ourselves, along with Cuban “musicologist María Córdova” and all right-thinking individuals, “Why do their authors want to treat sex in a way that is so devoid of artistic essence. Why do they want to portray sexuality using such vulgar expressions?” And, I might add, what’s with all the wine-making?

In actual NorteñoBlog news, this week Enigma Norteño’s spritely “Calla Y Me Besas” drops from the Hot Latin top 25, leaving that list with just nine regional Mexican songs. This is on the low side but you’d be forgiven for not noticing, considering how many of our favorites are charting high. To be exact, Hot Latin includes four regional Mexican songs in its top 10 and six in its top 13, including El Komander’s “Malditas Ganas” and Ariel Camacho’s “Te Metiste,” both VALE LA PENA. I also have high hopes for Recodo’s whirligig drinking song down at #19. The two new radio hits in the Regional Mexican Top 20 are a so-so banda ballad from the nomenclaturally gifted La Bandononona Clave Nueva de Max Peraza, and Grupo Máximo Grado’s debut norteño hit, the sloshed “Unas Heladas.” Máximo Grado’s second album of the year, Marca Acme (AfinArte/Sony), comes complete with a picture of a falling anvil. It’s solid.

Oh, and the 97-week-old “Propuesta Indecente” climbs from #3 to #2. FINALLY! Start planning your celebratory 100-week balloon drops and confetti dumps now. (“Propuesta Indecente” has always been at war with janitorial services.)

These are the top 25 Hot Latin Songs and top 20 Regional Mexican Songs, courtesy Billboard, as published June 13.

1. “El Perdón” – Nicky Jam & Enrique Iglesias
2. “Propuesta Indecente” – Romeo Santos (97 WEEKS OLD)
3. “Fanatica Sensual” – Plan B
4. “Hilito” – Romeo Santos
5. “Hablame de Ti” – Banda MS (#5 RegMex) (snoooooozzzzzz)
6. “Sigueme y Te Sigo” – Daddy Yankee
7. “El Amor De Su Vida” – Julión Álvarez y Su Norteño Banda (#1 RegMex)
8. “Ay Vamos” – J Balvin
9. “Malditas Ganas” – El Komander (#3 RegMex)
10. “Contigo” – Calibre 50 (#2 RegMex)

11. “Me Sobrabas Tu” – Banda Los Recoditos (#4 RegMex)
12. “Pierdo la Cabeza” – Zion & Lennox
13. “Te Metiste” – Ariel Camacho y Los Plebes del Rancho (#10 RegMex)
14. “Nota de Amor” – Wisin + Carlos Vives ft. Daddy Yankee
15. “Perdido En Tus Ojos” – Don Omar ft. Natti Natasha
16. “Mi Verdad” – Maná ft. Shakira
17. “La Gozadera” – Gente de Zona ft. Marc Anthony
18. “El Cholo” – Gerardo Ortiz (#8 RegMex)
19. “Mi Vicio Mas Grande” – Banda El Recodo (#6 RegMex)
20. “Solita” – Prince Royce

21. “Un Zombie A La Intemperie” – Alejandro Sanz
22. “Lejos De Aqui” – Farruko
23. “Bonito Y Bello” – La Septima Banda (#7 RegMex)
24. “Me Voy Enamorando (Remix)” – Chino & Nacho ft. Farruko
25. “El Taxi” – Pitbull ft. Sensato & Osmani Garcia

“Travesuras” – Nicky Jam

9. “Calla y Me Besas” – Enigma Norteña

11. “Como Tu No Hay Dos” – Los Huracanes del Norte
12. “El Que Se Enamora Pierde” – Banda Carnaval
13. “Si Te Vuelvo a Ver” – La Maquinaria Norteña
14. “Que Aun Te Amo” – Pesado
15. “Levantando Polvadera” – Voz De Mando
16. “Unas Heladas” – Grupo Máximo Grado
17. “Que Tal Si Eres Tu” – Los Tigres Del Norte
18. “Debajo Del Sombrero” – Leandro Rios ft. Pancho Uresti
19. “Cuál Adiós” – La Bandononona Clave Nueva de Max Peraza
20. “Cuando La Miro” – Luis Coronel

“Mayor De Edad” – La Original Banda El Limón
“Soltero Disponible” – Regulo Caro