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A crowded field of contenders met this week, selling themselves to a fickle public by trying to outshout their rivals. As they took their places on the public stage, arranged according to their polling numbers, some sported relatively fresh faces while others had clearly been here before. Broadcast to the masses, they broached the familiar topics of family values and the plight of the working class. They touted their hardscrabble origins and titanic work ethics. One challenger had amassed unimaginable wealth and made certain everyone in the audience knew it. The contenders spared no expense, and certainly no words, in their attempt to move one step closer to claiming the world’s most powerful and coveted title.

I refer, of course, to NorteñoBlog’s prestigious Pick to Click.

There are eight new songs, to be exact, since the last time we checked the Mexican radio charts five weeks ago. I’m afraid I can’t assign their singers one-to-one correspondence with the… unique field of candidates seeking the Republican nomination for U.S. president. Although both groups contain mostly men — in this thought experiment, the part of Carly Fiorina will be played by Los Horóscopos — the Mexican radio stars are not, so far as I can tell, frightening power-mad scaredy cats. Here are their strong suits, from lowest polling to highest:

At #20, Diego Herrera sings a tribute to the families who’ve stood behind their famous norteño singing sons. This could have lapsed into sap, but Herrera is a masterful singer who lands each of his many words with precision and dexterity. Plus he uses the word “chingones” over and over. (Since I don’t think Miss Manners has covered it, this Latina article dissects how appropriate the word is for polite company. Opinions vary!)

At #19, the man with the continent’s best voice, Julión Álvarez, sings about love (as he does) in one of his better recent tunes, a fast banda. He’s also the only person I know who has convincingly sung the word “irremediablemente.”

Los Tucanes and their rich friends Código FN are at #18, singing a corrido about the big name bandas who play their fancy parties, where the liquor bottles flow like spit valves and muchachas dangle from arms. How did our hosts get all their money? Don’t ask questions!

At #17, the members of La Estructura, a relatively new quartet/quintet, are weary. Their gauntlet of negotiating the nightlife and trying to win back a pretty mujer has tuckered them out. As the tubist blarts out sad counterpoint the lead singer stops traffic to block his ex’s SUV and plead his case. Improbably, this works.

Mariachi Pedro Fernández is at lucky #13 with a cover of Leandro Rios’s excellent rhyming exercise/claim to hardcore ranchero roots, “Debajo Del Sombrero.” The song remains great, but Fernández’s take sounds too smooth, even perfunctory, as though he and his well tooled mariachi machine are racing through it.

Up at #9, Fidel Rueda insists, over speedy banda, that he is not el mandadero, for whom he is sometimes confused by assholes. Rather, la moneda está volteada, y Rueda es él que manda. Merely for serving as a furious rebuke to some of those frightening power-mad scaredy cats, this would be a front-runner for Pick to Click status. Turns out it’s a fine song, too. I’ll entertain a motion from the floor.

I mean, you knew it wasn’t gonna go to those Sebastianes or Arrolladora ballads, they just kept crying all over the place.

(BTW, the top 3 songs remain unchanged from five weeks ago. Meet the new jefes, same as the old jefes.)

These are the Top 20 “Popular” songs in Mexico, as measured by monitorLATINO. Don’t confuse “Popular” with the “General” list, which contains many of the same songs but also “Worth It,” “See You Again,” “Cheerleader,” and a Kalimba song that strums along forgettably.

1. “Aunque Ahora Estés Con Él” – Calibre 50
2. “Piensalo” – Banda MS
3. “Por Qué Terminamos” – Gerardo Ortiz
4. “Para Qué Pides Perdón” – La Arrolladora Banda El Limón
5. “Después de Ti ¿Quién?” – La Adictiva Banda San Jose
6. “¿Cómo Te Llamas?” – Banda La Trakalosa
7. “Por Si No Recuerdas” – Banda Los Sebastianes
8. “Me Interesa” – Alfredo Ríos El Komander
9. “Ya No Soy El Mandadero” – Fidel Rueda
10. “Por Si Estas Con El Pendiente” – Voz De Mando

11. “Mi Vicio Mas Grande” – Banda El Recodo
12. “Tu Mami” – Chuy Lizarraga
13. “Debajo del Sombrero” – Pedro Fernández
14. “No Te Voy a Perdonar” – Grupo Cañaveral ft. Maria Leon
15. “Abrázame” – Pesado
16. “Diferentes Niveles” – Claudio Alcaraz
17. “Retiro Lo Dicho” – La Estructura
18. “Suena La Banda” – Los Tucanes de Tijuana ft. Código FN
19. “Pongamonos de Acuerdo” – Julión Álvarez y Su Norteño Banda
20. “Fregones Mis Viejos” [aka “Chingones Mis Viejos”] – Diego Herrera

¡Adios!
“Yo Pongo Las Reglas” – La Poderosa Banda San Juan
“Si No Te Hubiera Conocido” – Bobby Pulido
“50 Mentadas” – Banda Rancho Viejo
“Broche De Oro” – Banda La Trakalosa
“Me Toco Perder” – Banda Los Recoditos
“El Amor de Su Vida” – Julión Álvarez
“Sal De Mi Vida” – La Original Banda El Limón
“Confesion” – La Arrolladora Banda El Limón

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