NorteñoBlog

The corridos verdes boomlet has coughed up a number of giggle-inducing phenomena. With his weedy voice, affected swagger, and perpetually nascent mustache, Kristopher Nava of T3R Elemento (#30 at U.S. Regional Mexican radio) is the genre’s McLovin; his different videos show him hobnobbing among indifferent high school girls and the kushy environs of club VIPs. Meanwhile, the mysterious El De La Guitarra (#26 and #40 Hot Latin, #20 at radio) performs as a diabolical smiley face, and if anyone can remember his real name, they’re not telling.

And then there’s the new joint from Lenin Ramirez ft. T3R Elemento: “Rolling One,” #38 at radio. The song is fine, a rolling norteño waltz with lots of guitar solos compensating for a paper-thin melody. The video is perhaps the highest AF artifact ever filmed. As in, the people who made the video were obviously baked. The video is clearly aimed at people who are stoned. It’s possible that simply watching the video gives you a tropical contact high. (For instance, you might start quoting terrible Beach Boys songs.) Consider that it contains the following elements, inexplicable unless we consult noted cannabis afficionado Occam, last seen using his razor to slice traffic tickets into makeshift rolling papers:

1. A golden assault rifle bong;
2. Numerous mind-blowing shots of people escaping the bounds of the black letterbox bars (IT’S LIKE 3-D ONLY NOT);
3. Lenin Ramirez’s paisley sun-god shirt, itself a mind-altering substance;
4. Especially when he and four bikini-clad, blunt-smoking women ride horses down the beach;
5. Several shots with scratchy or digitally distressed film (IT’S LIKE FOUND FOOTAGE ONLY NOT);
6. A freakin’ tololoche on a boat;
7. A visit to Lenin Ramirez and Kristopher Nava’s industrial cannabis greenhouse;
8. Slow-mo reverse footage of bikini-clad women sucking smoke back into their mouths (IT’S LIKE SPECIAL EFFECTS ONLY NOT);
9. What appears to be a henna tattoo of a wolf;
10. Lyrical shoutouts to marijuana, 420, OG Kush, Colorado, etc., which — as anyone who’s ever been high, or been around high people, knows — is all the high can talk about.

Everything about this video screams both, “Whatever, man, it seemed like a good idea at the time,” and, “Dude, remember that time we were so wasted?” VALE LA PENA, because as I said it’s got lots of guitar solos.

Drowing his sorrows with a different drug, at #39 on the radio we find the new sierreño weeper from hatless 20-year-old lothario Virlán García, who asks the pitiful musical question “En Donde Esta Tu Amor?” Since his mujer left his bed unattended, he’s been searching for her up and down the premises of his stately mansion, chasing her aroma with un vaso de tequila caliente, and — if we can believe the video — hiding all his furniture under dropcloths. NOT UNLIKE HOW THE ORNATE FURNITURE OF HIS HEART HAS BECOME HIDDEN AND USELESS, under the… er… DROPCLOTHS OF MUJER-LESS ANHEDONIA. In the video’s closing scene he sits at the edge of his in-ground swimming pool, singing softly to himself, his tequila vaso apparently bottomless. For his next video, Garcia will either accidentally drown or return inside, to wander among his dusty belongings and go full Havisham. NO VALE LA PENA

NorteñoBlog is ambivalent about many subjects — the usefulness of Octavio Paz’s macho metaphors, the necessity of blogging on a regular basis, the social and musical value of excellent music videos about cockfighting. But nowhere is the Blog’s ambivalence more felt than on the topic of Intocable.
They’re an undeniably good band I almost never wanna hear. They created an enormously influential proprietary rhythm, halfway between backbeat and polka, and then ran that rhythm into the ground. Their tunes are catchy and frequently indistinguishable. So I’m pleased to report that their current single “Cuidaré”, the sixth (I think) from their eternally strip-minable 2016 album Highway, avoids that proprietary riddim altogether, instead swapping in a straight-up subdivided backbeat, forlorn guitar arpeggios, and pulsing background harmonies for a still-recognizably-Intocablish tale of unrequited heartache. It’s pretty; maybe it’s just the lingering effects of the “Rolling One” video, but the Blog awards Intocable’s ballad a tearfully unambivalent VALE LA PENA.

But this week’s Pick to Click comes from some different old dudes: cumbiadero legends Los Ángeles Azules, fresh off a triumphant set at Coachella, and urban mariachi savior Pepe Aguilar, fresh off his triumph of scoring TWO Picks to Click last year. “Ni Contigo Ni Sin Ti” is #12 on the radio this week, and it’s a major-key cover — a rarity in Los Ángeles’ forboding modal universe — of Aguilar’s 2011 ho-hum power ballad. Proof, if you needed it, that all songs sound better when given trombone countermelodies and actual tempos.

These are the top 50 Hot Latin Songs and top 40 Regional Mexican Songs, courtesy Billboard, as published June 9.

1. “Te Boté” – Casper Magico, Nio Garcia, Darell, Nicky Jam, Ozuna & Bad Bunny
2. “Despacito” – Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber (67 weeks!)
3. “X” – Nicky Jam x J Balvin
4. “Dura” – Daddy Yankee
5. “Dame Tu Cosita” – El Chombo
6. “Mi Gente” – J. Balvin & Willy William (48 weeks!)
7. “El Farsante” – Ozuna (44 weeks!)
8. “Me Niego” – Reik Featuring Ozuna & Wisin
9. “Sin Pijama” – Becky G + Natti Natasha
10. “Oye Mujer” – Raymix (#2 RegMex)

11. “El Prestamo” – Maluma
12. “Scooby Doo Pa! Pa!” – DJ Kass
13. “La Modelo” – Ozuna x Cardi B
14. “Ambiente” – J Balvin
15. “Unica” – Ozuna
16. “El Anillo” – Jennifer Lopez
17. “El Clavo” – Prince Royce
18. “Tu Postura” – Banda MS (#9 RegMex)
19. “Amorfoda” – Bad Bunny
20. “La Player (Bandolera)” – Zion & Lennox

21. “Madura” – Cosculluela + Bad Bunny
22. “El Baño” – Enrique Iglesias ft. Bad Bunny
23. “Fiebre” – Ricky Martin Featuring Wisin & Yandel
24. “Solita” – Almighty, Ozuna, Bad Bunny & Wisin
25. “1, 2, 3” – Sofia Reyes Featuring Jason Derulo & De La Ghetto
26. “A Lo Lejos Me Veran” – El de La Guitarra (#20 RegMex)
27. “Se Acabo El Amor” – Abraham Mateo, Yandel + Jennifer Lopez
28. “Calidad y Cantidad” – La Arrolladora Banda (#4 RegMex)
29. “Mitad y Mitad” – Calibre 50 (#3 RegMex)
30. “Loca” – Maite Perroni Featuring Cali Dandee

31. “Tiempo” – Banda Los Recoditos (#1 RegMex)
32. “Asesina” – Brytiago X Darell
33. “Que Bonito Es Querer” – Ulices Chaidez y Sus Plebes (#6 RegMex)
34. “Peligrosa” – J Balvin, Wisin & Yandel
35. “No Es Justo” – J Balvin & Zion & Lennox
36. “Bum Bum Tam Tam” – MC Fioti, Future, J Balvin, Stefflon Don & Juan Magan
37. “Diez Minutos Mas” – Los Huracanes del Norte (#5 RegMex)
38. “Me Hubieras Dicho” – Joss Favela (#7 RegMex)
39. “Ahora” – J Balvin
40. “El Monstro 7” – El De La Guitarra

41. “El Aroma de Tu Piel” – Gerardo Ortiz (#10 RegMex)
42. “Hielo” – Daddy Yankee
43. “Segunda Opción” – Banda Carnaval (#8 RegMex)
44. “Machika” – J Balvin x Jeon x Anitta
45. “Esperándote” – Manuel Turizo
46. “Bipolar” – Chris Jeday, Ozuna & Brytiago
47. “Marinero” – Maluma
48. “Amantes de Una Noche” – Natti Natasha x Bad Bunny
49. “Duro y Suave” – Leslie Grace & Noriel
50. “Tonta” – RKM & Ken-Y x Natti Natasha

¡Adios!
“Solo Mia” – Yandel ft. Maluma
“Corazon” – Maluma X Nego do Borel
“Echame La Culpa” – Luis Fonsi & Demi Lovato
“Sensualidad” – DJ Luian & Mambo Kingz Presentan: Bad Bunny, J Balvin & Prince Royce
“Siguelo Bailando” – Ozuna
“Downtown” – Anitta & J Balvin
“Dejala Que Vuelva” – Piso 21 Featuring Manuel Turizo
“Dime” – Revol, J Balvin & Bad Bunny Featuring Arcangel & De La Ghetto
“Sutra” – Sebastian Yatra ft. Dalmata
“Mi Mala” – Mau y Ricky x Karol G
“Azukita” – Steve Aoki, Daddy Yankee, Play-N-Skillz & Elvis Crespo
“De Las 2” – Noriel / Trap Capos Featuring Bad Bunny & Arcangel
—————–

11. “El Que A Ti Te Gusta” – Voz de Mando
12. “Ni Contigo Ni Sin Ti” – Los Angeles Azules Featuring Pepe Aguilar
13. “Seremos” – El Bebeto
14. “Privilegio” – Banda Rancho Viejo de Julio Aramburo La Bandononon
15. “Para No Acordarme de Ella” – Luis Coronel
16. “Que Tontería” – La Séptima Banda
17. “Fíjate Que Sí” – Edwin Luna y La Trakalosa de Monterrey
18. “Tú” – Duelo
19. “Los Cuervos” – Kanales ft. El Fantasma

21. “No Me Chingues La Vida” – Espinoza Paz
22. “Amor Traicionero” – La Maquinaria Norteña
23. “Parrandeando” – Los Tucanes de Tijuana
24. “En Peligro de Extincion” – La Adictiva Banda San Jose de Mesillas
25. “Al Cien y Pasadito” – Jorge Medina
26. “El Pisto Es Primero” – Chuy Lizarraga y Su Banda Tierra Sinaloense
27. “Solo Amame” – Siggno
28. “Cuidaré” – Intocable
29. “Antecedentes de Culpa” – Alfredo Olivas
30. “Fire Up” – T3r Elemento

31. “Quisieran Tener Mi Lugar” – Chiquis Rivera & Jenni Rivera
32. “Te Invito” – Remmy Valenzuela
33. “Mil Cadenas” – Los Rieleros del Norte
34. “No Sé” – Marilyn
35. “En Silencio” – La Zenda Nortena de Mario Madrigal
36. “Estare Contigo” – Marco Antonio Solis
37. “Mayores” – Becky G ft. Bad Bunny
38. “Rolling One” – Lenin Ramirez Featuring T3r Elemento
39. “En Donde Esta Tu Amor” – Virlan Garcia
40. “El Jabalí” – Banda Chacaloza de Jerez Zacatecas

¡Adios!
“Me Dejé Llevar” – Christian Nodal
“Ni Diablo Ni Santo” – Julión Álvarez y Su Norteño Banda
“El Corrido del Nano” – El Fantasma
“Vete” – Geru y Su Legión 7
“No Voy a Detenerte” – Pesado
“Zapateado Endemoniado” – Marco Flores y La Jerez
“Hola Mi Amor” – El Chapo de Sinaloa
“Bella” – Wolfine
“Despedida de Soltera” – La Energía Norteña
“Narco de Narcos” – Crecer German
“Fino Pero Sordo” – Julión Álvarez y Su Norteño Banda Featuring Hansen Flores
“Esta Es Tu Canción” – La Adictiva Banda San Jose de Mesillas (#6 RegMex)
“Recordando a Manuel” – Lenin Ramirez ft. Gerardo Ortiz y Jesus Chairez
“El Problema” – Alfredo Olivas (#8 RegMex)
“Como Vuelvo A Enamorarte” – Regulo Caro (#9 RegMex)